is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Small penises have feelings too.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
