hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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