shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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