I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
