whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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