it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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