try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
