i just sent this text using only my big toe
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize