I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
