a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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