You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
