Betty ford says i'm here all night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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