I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
