so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is the high leading the old right now
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Randomize
