Taylor Swift is so right about you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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