I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
