I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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