I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
