I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
