we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
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Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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