i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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