the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
