I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
