I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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