I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
