You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize