fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sarcasm needs its own font
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
