Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
