All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
