her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
