your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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