Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
