You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize