I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you had me at cake vodka
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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