Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
