So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
