i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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