Cold hands, warm shart.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
