dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
