Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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