Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
