After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
