First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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