my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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