your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
COCAINE IS GR8
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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