And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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