her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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