i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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