No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
