He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
