We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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