Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.