I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!