ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration