Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
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OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it