So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.