Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks