Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
