Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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