I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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